I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
