just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
