i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
