So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
