he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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