I want to stick my p in your. b.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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