dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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