pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I looked at my own cervix.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Randomize
