his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
