i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize