I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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