I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
