I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
there's paper in my vomit.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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