I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize