I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
