I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She told me I should be a condom model.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
