did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
