Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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