shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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