He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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