Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
