You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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