It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
we're so committed to being not committed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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