Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There r osticjed everywhere
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
