Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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