Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
