Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
