we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I need to calm my uterus...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
