I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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