Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
