My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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