Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
