you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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