I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
