Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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