I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize