I'm jealous of your bromance
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
