I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
