I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
how drunk are you?
Several
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
