Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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