if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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