8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
