the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
