I have demons in me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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