..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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