some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
