omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
