Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Someone came in the potted fern
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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