oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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