She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
