sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
