yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
