my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
handjob tips. give me some.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How many fucks given?
0.12846
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize