This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
