Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
there's paper in my vomit.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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