Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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