You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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