Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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