My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
