..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
