whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
